A woman wrote to me asking how she could use Feminine Grace to let a man know she was upset by his lack of open communication about a situation that arose.

First, you need to realize that he is not upsetting you, you are doing that to yourself. This is in all cases, not just with men. You are responsible for how you react and respond to what others do.

Next, when you don’t have all the information, it’s natural to guess as to why he didn’t communicate better than he did. When you are just beginning to date someone, you haven’t known him long enough to know his typical style of communicating. So you need more time to know if this is what you would have to live with if you became a permanent couple.

As far as communicating with Feminine Grace, the best way to keep a man open to hearing what you need to say is to start with this: “When you get a chance, I need some help understanding something.” Men like to help so this keeps him in a receptive frame of mind.

Then, explain this way, keeping it about you and how you feel, not about him and how he is doing something wrong: “I noticed that I reacted (explain how you’re feeling) when you (whatever he did). I’m wondering if you have any ideas about how I can avoid this happening in the future.” The second part is a request for him to solve a problem for you, which men typically like to do.

This method of communicating will keep him from becoming defensive. It will open his eyes to something he was unaware of, how his behavior caused you to react as you did, and hopefully, come up with a better way to communicate with you in the future.

Too often, women forget that what I teach in Men Made Easy is a better way to interact with a man so his desire and need to make you happy is kept in the forefront. When you learn to do this, you both feel like winners, all the time.

If you want to learn more about what makes men tick, you’ll want to download my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com. The more you truly understand men, the more likely you will be able to create a happy relationship for you both.

But let’s talk about something else that is sacrificed by being a Feminist. Your health and well-being. So here’s something that has nothing to do with relationships or men.

What I’ve observed in my many years teaching women, is that a reason so many women are burned out and exhausted is because they’re in their ‘masculine energy’ 24/7. This is totally unnatural. Of course, you do have to be in your masculine energy part of the time. For example, when you’re taking care of a child or a parent, you’re in your masculine energy because you’re care-taking, protecting, ‘giving,’ which is masculine.

When you’re receiving in any way, you’re in your feminine energy. So being in masculine energy is just as natural for a woman as being in feminine energy. But it’s draining to be in it all the time. The workplace is masculine. So you’re required to be in your masculine energy during the day. The problem is, most women don’t realize they should, nor do they know how to, turn off their masculine and step into their feminine.

You see, what you need to realize is that when you’re in your feminine energy you can replenish your batteries, so to speak. So I recommend you be sure and allow yourself some time, specially when you get home from work, to slip into your feminine energy, the same way you might slip into comfy clothes. If you consciously set your masculine energy on a shelf, or put it in a drawer, and then do something that will allow you to give to yourself, a glass of wine, a meditation, dancing in your underwear, you will then be able to nurture yourself in a loving, feminine way.

I also recommend you do this before going on a date, or being with your husband, because men are repelled by a woman who is in masculine energy, basically in competition for ‘who is the better man.’ It’s just the way it is, and trying to get men to be different simply does not work.

If you want to learn more about understanding men, you can download 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

I know you’re hurting, for a variety of reasons. One of the most powerful is the loss of the dream. When we fall in love we begin to see how a future with this man will look and feel. Another is that it hurts to be rejected, a lot.

But let me ask you this question? Why do you want to be with a man who doesn’t want you?

Wouldn’t you rather be with a man who is so excited to be with you that he does everything he can to keep you happy? This is what I want for you, to know how fantastic it feels to be with a man who cherishes and adores you.

There are two reasons a man does not commit to a woman:
1. It’s not the right time for him
2) You’re not the right one

If he moves on to another woman, you’re not the right one. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, necessarily. It simply means the two of you weren’t a good fit.

It feels so good to be in love that we will do everything to keep it going. So when the source of those feelings leaves, it’s very difficult to let go. What’s required is a belief that because this one didn’t work out, that means there’s someone who is a better fit for you.

With each break-up, the ideal thing to do is learn from it. When we do that, we discover how we can improve ourselves; improve how we select a man, improve how we communicate, improve how enjoyable we are to be with.

The great thing about becoming a better person from what you learn is that you will be able to attract an even better man the next time.

I’m pretty sure this is not what you want to hear. There are people who focus on helping people get their ex back. It makes no sense to me, unless there are children that the couple share. Then, I do believe they should do everything possible to make their marriage work.

But when there are no children, and a couple has tried to work it out, it’s best to offer blessings on the good that you shared, let go, and move into the stage of learning so you can enjoy a relationship with a man who truly appreciates you.

Enjoy my gift of 3 free ebooks so you can learn about Cavemen, Dogs and Princes. Download them at KaraOh.com.

One of the most important things I learned in doing my research is that the thing that triggers a midlife crisis is when a man asks the question: “Is this all there is? Is this what I worked for all my adult life? Is this what I hoped for when I was just getting started on being a man?” When they ask this question, they are usually disappointed. That’s because most men have unrealized goals, even Ted Turner. The sad thing is that men tend to take it out on their wives, try to do whatever they think will make them feel young and full of hope, they often leave their families, occasionally ruin their finances, begin to gamble, drink, use drugs, use women, etc.

Most men do not have the coping skills to deal with these kind of overwhelming feelings. They have been taught since they were little to stuff their feelings, never show vulnerability or express their emotions. This is a VERY serious time for a man. It has the highest incident of suicide other than teenage boys.

My advice is to be as supportive as you can be, and at the same time, take care of yourself. If he acts out, is with other women, does scary things (like getting a motorcycle), it is not about you. It is his way of not dealing with his feelings head on. If he makes it through and hasn’t destroyed your marriage, he is likely to be the man you’ve always wanted.

Most important, don’t try to help him, only be supportive by using Feminine Grace and the secrets in Men Made Easy, don’t try to tell him what he’s feeling (don’t mention what I’ve said above), don’t offer advice. Just take care of yourself.

The more you understand men, the more you will be able to communicate your needs. To begin your journey of understanding, download 3 free ebooks about how men are Cavemen, Dogs, and Princes, all at the same time. You can get them at KaraOh.com.

The sad thing is that too many women think their appearance is the primary thing that will get them the results with men that they want. What they get is unhappiness, frustration and a feeling of loathing because they don’t look like those images.

Yes, your looks will get his attention, but, as I’ve said many times, it’s who you are that causes him to fall in love and want to share his life with you.

So it makes me crazy to see women obsess about their appearance, instead of focusing on developing Feminine Grace. Our culture has always made appearance too important, but today, with the PhotoShopping of every image women see, it’s turned everything on it’s head.

Here’s a fascinating video that shows exactly how images are manipulated and how unattainable the quest to look as good is. Women can’t measure up, and men won’t find a ‘perfect’ woman.

My biggest concern is that because pretty much EVERY image is PhotoShopped, everyone is getting a skewed idea of what beauty is.

Beauty is not perfection. True beauty is the light that emanates from a truly happy woman. It’s the glow that comes from being self-assured, happy, kind and appreciative.

How to do you counter the damage that is being done by these false images? The best way is to focus on developing yourself as a person, from the inside out. Continue to feed your mind, your spirit and your soul. Develop your ability to be happy and to love and be loved. And when you see a photo and think, “Gosh, I wish I could look like that,” remind yourself that NO ONE looks like that.

To begin to discover what men really want, you can get three free ebooks that will help you understand why all men are Cavemen, Dogs, and Princes. Simply go to KaraOh.com and register to my newsletter list. You can unsubscribe at any time.

If you’re ready to begin developing your Feminine Grace™, you can get my best-selling book, Men Made Easy, and learn the 12 Secrets about men that every woman should know. That is, if you want to have a truly satisfying relationship.

Men are pretty straight-forward. It probably means he needs to retreat and regroup himself, which is another way of saying he needs to get by himself and think. Beyond, that stop torturing yourself wondering what’s going on. He’ll let you know in due time.

Your job is to learn to focus on your own life, learn to take things in stride, and learn to take responsibility to your reaction to what happens in your life, so you can choose to be happy more of the time.

Women write to me every day, asking what a man means by something he said or did. Women make themselves crazy trying to figure men out. The best thing to do is get busy enjoying your life, and he’ll let you know what he wants and needs from you when he’s ready. If a man is into you, he’ll contact you and want to be with you. If he isn’t, he won’t, or he’ll make up an excuse about how busy his life is. There are two reasons, and only two, why a man will not pursue a relationship with a woman.

1. You’re not the right one.
2. It’s not the right time.

That covers all possibilities.

If a man is focus on his work because he isn’t where he wants to be in his career or in his finances, and you’re the right one, he’ll pass because the timing is off. Men are very simple. That’s why I chose the title of my most popular book, “Men Made Easy.”

I want women to learn to be happy, which is our primary job as humans. So you must take charge of your own happiness. I talk to women all the time who want to know WHY a man does or says what he does. When you do that, you are going to work yourself into a tizzy because you’re only guessing.

Fretting over something you have no control over is handing your happiness over to that person. This is a HUGE lesson that few people learn. You have a choice. I hope you make a good one.

To help you understand men better, I’ve made three ebooks available to you for free. You can download them at KaraOh.com.

Then, “Grenade,” Bruno Mar’s song, came on my iTunes. I love the sound of the song, but the lyrics are insane. Paraphrasing, “I’d catch a grenade for you, stand in front of a train for you…but you won’t do the same for me.” Huh? Is he kidding?

One of the problems that befalls many relationships is one person thinks the other needs to show their love in a particular way, or the same way as they do.

If you need compliments and complain because you don’t get them, I invite you to search your inner self to discover why you need the affirmations. Then, when you understand the hidden truths, go and get what you want. Sit on his lap and ask him, when you are feeling pretty, “Do you like how I look?” Or, when you’re naked with him and you know he’s into you, ask, “Am I sexy?” but in a playful, sexy way. You’ll actually get a more honest response.

You can also simply tell him that, “…as silly as it might seem to you, I’m a girl and I really like it when you tell me I’m pretty (or whatever compliments you need to hear). It would make me so happy if you told me those things once in a while.”

Men like simple instructions so they can get it right. And you can tell him you understand he doesn’t think that way (like a girl) so is it okay to remind him once in a while?

If you want to create a better relationship than you’ve ever had, you need to know the Secrets about men that I discovered after two years of studying and interviewing men. It’s the foundation of every good relationship. Only a hand full of women know these Secrets and they are the relationships you admire. Trust me, I’ve been researching this for over a dozen years. The Secrets are absolutely essential to any great relationship.

And if you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, download my 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

*Private Support Group. Every woman who has purchased one of my books or programs is welcome in this group. They get ongoing support from me, as well as the other wonderful women in the group.

Age is a huge issue because even older men usually want a younger woman. I am 63 and felt invisible to men. But my boyfriend, who is 39 said men did notice, I just wasn’t letting it in. He’s known me for over 2 years and was interested way before I realized it. So it can happen, and man, was I as surprised as anyone.

I have heard that your city is difficult, but women everywhere say where they live is difficult. Part of the problem is there are more women than men in almost every community.

First, it’s important to be okay with the possibility that you will not meet someone. Otherwise, there’s a bit of desperation in your energy, and men can ‘smell’ that a mile away. I had to get to that point and it felt pretty good. I was able to accept that if it happens, great, if not, I have an amazing life.

Then, you need to get out and stay active. Go to places men will be but not the clubs and bars. Take classes, go to lectures, charity events, or pick a sport–maybe bicycling, rowing, skiing–and join a club. Or take ballroom dancing, or salsa. Just stay very busy. And if you’ve read Men Made Easy, work on developing sparkling Feminine Grace. And use the Secrets about men with ALL men. You never know if one might be interested, or he might have a friend or relative who is looking for someone just like you.

I am in the most amazing relationship of my life. In my wildest dreams, I would not have thought a 39-year-old with two young daughters could be the man of my dreams…actually, I never dreamed anyone like him existed. So unless you’re totally turned off by the idea of a younger man, keep that as an option as well. There are a lot of younger men who like older women. Partly because a lot of younger women are such ball-busters, or are too needy. A sharp younger man enjoys the wisdom of an older woman, and the freedom they often have with their body and sexuality.

And definitely open your horizons to include men of other cultures and colors. I’ve always been attracted to black men, but in my community, there aren’t many. But lucky  me, I’m living my fantasies, every day. Yummers!

The most important thing to do is get okay with being alone. Then your sense of self-assurance will be much more alluring.

If you want to learn the Secrets about men that EVERY woman really should know, you’ll definitely want to get your hands on Men Made Easy. And if you want the 3 free ebooks that explain how men can be Cavemen, Dogs, and Princes, all at the same time, download them at KaraOh.com.

Everything she said she was looking for had to do with how much money he needed to make. This is NOT how you get a man to fall in love with you.

It scares me how often money is top of the list for so many women. Whatever happened to wanting a nice man, a loving man, a kind man, a caring man? Whatever happened to looking at how capable a man is of loving and being able participate in creating and sustaining a fulfilling relationship? Maybe that’s why so many women have trouble finding their “dream” guy. That dream guy can smell a woman’s selfish, self-centered, materialism a mile away. That’s what a man feels when he comes across this kind of woman.

Men, on the other hand, generally state “attractive” as their first item of what they’re looking for, then “smart.” Of course, men also forget to mention wanting a woman who can join him in creating a beautiful relationship that grows in love over time, but that’s mostly because they assume the woman is the relationship expert. One of my primary goals is to help people get back to what being in a relationship is really about.

The goal ought to be to feel loved, fulfilled, content and happy because of how their partner helps enhance their life. Instead, all too often, women get into a relationship, then, after a time, wonder what’s missing, sensing that something isn’t right, without knowing what.

Here’s what needs to be on the top of the list:

• Loving
• Being loved
• Being seen
• Feeling supported
• Feeling accepted for who we are
• Having someone to share your life with
• Having great *sex*
• Sharing deep, heart-to-heart intimacy
• Knowing someone is there for you
• Being able to create a truly fulfilling, heart-centered relationship

None of these things come naturally to most men, or women, for that matter. Nature is about survival. Most of us don’t have to deal with survival so we get the luxury to ask for more. The problem is that most people seem to be focused on what they want, rather than what they can offer and what it means to have love as the center point of a relationship. Kind of like being back in the survival mode.

To create a truly satisfying relationship you need to open your heart and look at what your spirit needs. The outer material things will not hold you in the night. And we all know plenty of very rich people who get divorced… each and every day. How much a man makes and how gorgeous a woman is is not what you build an enduring, long-term, holding hands when you’re 90, kind of relationship.

Find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three. Download 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

The best advice I can offer in this situation, in order to win him completely, is be the one who makes him feel like a worthy man. There are two Secrets about men that are of utmost importance, and which most women do not know about.

The first is, you must use Feminine Grace always. That means keep your over emotional reactions to yourself, or share with a trusted girlfriend who has read Men Made Easy, so she understands how the Secrets work. Here are some more tips on using Feminine Grace:

• Be gracious
• Communicate with your heart
• Expect him to treat you with respect and consideration

When you behave in this way, you will be on your way to making him feel good to be around you.

Then, the Second most important Secret about men, and the 12th in Men Made Easy, is to make him feel like a man. Few women know about this Secret. They do this in the beginning of a relationship because they’re enthusiastic about a new man. But once they become comfortable in their relationship, they tend to start making him feel like LESS of a man, not more. HUGE, huge mistake. This is the deal breaker for most men. Men don’t realize this is what’s going on but think about it, what man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel bad about himself, like he’s a failure?

If you know how to use my Secrets about men, you’ll begin to naturally make him feel amazing. He’ll then begin to associate those feelings with you, you won’t be throwing your drama at him, and he’ll realize you’re a rare treasure.

How do you make him feel like a man? Here are a just a few ways.

Let him know:

• How good a man you think he is
• How considerate he is h
• How smart you think he is
• How strong he is
• How capable

Why? Because he wants to be your hero and this will tell him he is.

By the way, if he isn’t someone you can appreciate, then he’s not the man for you.

When he starts to get good feelings whenever he’s around you, then he will be drawn to you like bees to their favorite flower.

This does not mean to wait on him like you’re a servant. It’s more a matter of appreciation of who he is as a man. Sure, it’s okay to do things for him, but do so by telling him you enjoy doing those things because you respect him as a man, as appreciation for all he does for you. Then he will feel good, AND want to continue to do those things.

But be sure and focus on the goal, even to the point where you see yourself in a happy, loving relationship, rather on the pain of him being interested in another woman. Focus on the pain, and you WILL get ugly, meaning upset, whiney, irritating…and you will make him feel bad, rather than good.

You want to have him associate good feelings when he thinks of you. Remember, he feels successful when you are happy, and like a failure when you are unhappy. Simple, but not always easy to do. Men Made Easy will help you accomplish your goal of having a man who cherishes and adores you. That’s what we all want, isn’t it?

If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, you can download three free ebooks at KaraOh.com.