I was coaching a woman recently and she mentioned that it was uncomfortable to give compliments, appreciation and acknowledgments. (For this discussion, let’s call them CA&As)

As you may have noticed, I call myself The Heart Whisperer™. So I always come from the perspective of opening my heart to the other person’s.

The simplest way to get past any discomfort you might be having offering CA&As is to do the following:

A. Remember that everyone, I mean everyone, craves CA&As. Even the most famous, powerful and wealthy. Actually, the desire for CA&As is what drives many who have achieved much.

B. Realize that offering any one of the CA&As sincerely, will make the other person feel good. Part of sincerity is to only offer a CA&A when you feel compelled to do so, not to get someone to like you or to manipulate them in any way. Yes, I advise strongly that part of dating smart is to offer CA&As often. But they need to come from your heart to be sincere. You must really mean it, be truly impressed and then enjoy offering it.

C. Expect nothing in return. Look at any offering of CA&As as little gifts, wrapped up with a bow, simply to make someone feel good. If you imagine that your heart energy is reaching out to theirs then it will become easy to CA&A just about anyone.

And on that note, if you have been uncomfortable giving compliments, appreciation and acknowledgments, it seems reasonable that you would need to practice. So the best way to practice is to start with little children. They are always the least intimidating.

I try to avoid telling a child they’re cute or pretty. We focus too much on appearances so I don’t want to add to that. So I often look for the one thing that might become an issue later in life. If they have freckles, tell them how special and unique their freckles make them, or if they have red hair, tell them how beautiful their hair is, or if it’s a little boy, tell them, “Wow, I really like your red hair. It’s great.” Whenever you can, end by telling them how smart they are.

Realize that you could be that stranger they remember who made them feel good about themselves when everyone around them is putting them down. Or if a little boy jumps off a step, tell him how strong or athletic or powerful he is. Can you feel how this type of awareness and caring comes from the heart? Once you become a natural at doing this with children, start doing the same thing with adults who are completely un-intimidating.

Offer CA&As at work, to your family, to your friends, and yes, even to the men you date. As you become comfortable with each stage, you’ll eventually become a natural at offering CA&As and a side affect is that you will be liked by others more than ever.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

The Heart Whisperer™

Kara Oh: KaraOh.com
The School Of Charm, Seduction and Feminine Grace: FeminineGrace.com
Start dating smart: DateSmartWinHisHeart.com
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