There are some great lyrics in a Reba McEntire song, “Who I am is who I want to be.” Oh, if we could all live that way. The closer you get to that point, the more attractive you will be. Really! The closer you can get to that point the happier, more centered, more at peace, more able to love and be loved you’ll be.

A very interesting and revealing exercise to do is to imagine going on a first date with you, sitting across the table from you… basically, putting yourself in your date’s shoes. What do you see? What do you feel? What qualities about you make you want to learn more, to be intrigued? What qualities are off-putting? This is a very difficult exercise but when done with real honesty, it can be amazingly useful.

If you can’t do this for yourself, ask a close friend to go on a mock date with you. Have them play-act every stage, from first phone call on through each stage of a “real” date.

This is another of those times when you can ignore useful advice… and stay stuck, getting the same results over and over, or start learning to do things differently so you can take charge of what happens in your life.

So what is the ultimate goal you should be going for? To become the most amazing “you” possible… happy, sexy, fascinating, loving, mesmerizing, dazzling. You get to choose.

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh

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