Even though much of my writing and teaching has to do with helping people find and maintain a loving relationship, I think Valentine’s Day is a horrible thing to do to society. Men are angst-ridden for fear that they’ll plan the wrong date, get the wrong gift, not spend enough, etc. Women are worried their guy won’t plan the right event, won’t purchase the right gift or spend enough to “prove his love.”

And then there are those who don’t have a partner to share the holiday with.Valentine’s Day causes those who are alone to feel like there must be something wrong with them, adds lonliness and dumps fear that love will never happen. As I said, I don’t like Valentine’s Day.

My honey took me out to a nice dinner last night. We went to our favorite restaurant where we go every week, but we dressed up. And he purchased Star Gazers, my favorite flowers. He’s very attentive and loves taking care of me, but he doesn’t do the creative gift thing. I know this about him and it’s okay. I don’t ask him to do anything special because he ends up with the fear of getting it wrong.

What’s the big deal? Well, men are driven to make the woman they love happy. They hate disappointing her and they hate getting into trouble. Valentine’s Day expectations cause him to fear both. So why put him, yourself and your relationship through all that for a contrived holiday that has been expanded by Hallmark?

What if all that energy was focused on you becoming the best person you can be? What if you took that energy and helped people who are alone, like older folks in retirement communities? What if you didn’t focus on yourself but opened your heart to finding love and goodness everywhere? And what if you allowed gratitude for what you do have to fill you up?

Valentine’s Day is the day of love so don’t forget that there are lots of ways to open your heart and share your love.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer

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