A woman wrote to me for advice today, wanting to know if she should pursue a man she’s interested in, like her girlfriend advised… because men are, as she put it, “thick as a brick.” Here’s my advice, which some might call old fashioned. But since I’m a nationally known expert on how men think, I’m offering this advice from the perspective of what works best for both men and women:

Hi Lena,

Here are my thoughts on your situation. From my own perspective, I like how it makes me feel as a woman to be pursued. And I know it makes a man feel masculine. Our job, as women – knowing that men don’t always notice the more subtle things going on around them – is to give them clear signals that we’re interested. If you approach him, you’ll miss out on how good it feels when he shows his interest in you in the “old fashioned” ways.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things you can do, you just need to keep in mind you don’t want to take his “job” away from him.

  1. Keep your energy feminine (I spend a lot of time on this in my books)
  2. Don’t try to be a “better man” than him (don’t try to compete)
  3. Let him approach you and enjoy the game of it
  4. Offer eye contact and a soft, closed mouth smile (he needs to know there’s a 95% chance you won’t reject him)
  5. When he does approach, good eye contact, appreciate something about his masculinity (smarts, strength, style, etc.), touch his arm when you laugh at something funny he says

These are just a few quick tips. I’m working hard and fast to finish writing Flirting Made Easy so I can give you exactly the advice you need to get a man to notice you, want to get to know you better, fall in love with you and never want to let you go. I’m really excited to share it with you because I know how badly women today need this information.

The thing that will cause him to be really intrigued is buried in #5 above. When you finally have a conversation, make a conscious effort to point out what you like and admire about him. You need to be a woman like none he’s ever met before. And to be successful, you need to understand men from the inside out.

More than anything, what a man wants from a woman is to feel like a man. If you use what is available in my upcoming ebook, Flirting Made Easy, he’ll definitely be intrigued.

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh