A women wrote to me with the following: I am in relation for last 4 years. He loves me, cares about me, and says he wants to spend his whole life with me. But he is not ready to get engaged and that kills me. I have tried alot to change his mind but I’ve failed. He says he still needs time. If he loves me then what’s the reason stoping him from engagement?

Here’s my response to her and any woman who is trying to push a man into marriage:

You will for sure push him away if you keep trying to get him to ask you to marry him. He will do it when he’s ready, and not before. If you keep pushing, he will realize you are not the right women for him and walk away.

You must understand that he sees marriage as a very serious decision. There is not the romantic fantasy that women see it to be. For him, it means he is taking on the financial responsibility for another adult, and if you’re young, any children you might have. Yes, you work. But he knows that as the wife, you might decide not to work. He takes that as a huge responsibility. And he also sees marriage as being willing to take on the responsibility of your emotional well being and happiness. it’s HUGE for him.

So stop bothering him. Stop making it mean something that he is waiting. You will become an ugly woman to him if you keep pushing him. Just step back and allow things to unfold in their own way, in their own time. It will be much sweeter for you both when he finally comes to the decision on his own. You can’t get him to do it sooner than he’s ready, so stop trying.

If you want to know how to get a man to do what you want, and make it his idea, you absolutely need to get a copy of my book, Men Made Easy. And get my 3 free ebooks and find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

When a man is in a bad mood, withdrawn, sad, or whatever, a woman’s tendency is to want to support and nurture him. Women do this to other women and it’s welcomed. But when you do it to a man, he want’s nothing to do with it.

Men process their feelings and emotions differently than women do. They want to think things through, or sometimes to suppress what they’re feeling. Let them. As John Grey says, let him go to his cave. When he’s ready, he’ll come out, with the mood usually gone.

When he does come out, don’t try to talk to him about it. If he wants to talk, he will. Otherwise, he’ll think you’re prying into an area you don’t belong. DO NOT take it personally. It’s simply his way of dealing with his inner thoughts and feelings.

“But I want to help him,” you say. Well, DON’T. When a man goes into a dark mood, it’s best to let him know you’re there if he needs you, but that you’ll give him time and space to work it through. Don’t try to lift him out of it, because that is you not honoring where he is.

If you’re in a bad mood, I doubt that you want someone to tell you how to be. When you try to give him the same support you would a woman, he will perceive it as you trying to tell him how he should deal with what’s going on. He doesn’t need the conversation, holding, agreement, commiserate, etc. that you do.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

This video was posted by my friend, Scott Clark, of RocketRadio in Enid, Oklahoma, near Tulsa, my old high school stomping ground. This song and the way they’ve done the video is the perfect antithesis of Feminine Grace. If you don’t know what Feminine Grace is, in a nutshell, it’s about BEING (not just looking) beautiful. If you’re BEING ugly, your man will stop loving you. He may not leave, but his heart will freeze over.

Enjoy:

Pay attention to how you treat everyone, not just your husband or boyfriend. If you’re BEING ugly, it’s pretty certain he’s repulsed.

Find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog or a Prince. Get my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

What I mean by seduction is not to strip off his clothes and jump him. Rather, it’s the subtle dance of love that is so delicious. It’s this dance that can cause a man to fall in love with you and know he’s found the woman of his dreams.There’s a reason the call it the ‘art of seduction.’

The reason a man falls in love is how you make him feel about himself. He wants to enjoy being a man. Part of that is having to work to earn your attention, your affection, then your love. If you think seduction means to fall into bed and give yourself to him without any effort on his part, you’re probably not having much luck finding a man with which to build a long term relationship.

To seduce him, let him know:

• How amazing he makes you feel,
• How good it feels to be with him,
• How beautiful, womanly, sexy–if it fits–he makes you feel,
• You noticed that he’s smart, strong, whatever he likes about himself,
• How safe and protect he makes you feel,
• What an amazing kisser he is, h
• How he makes you weak in the knees…

These types of things will make him feel ten feet tall. But they need to be sincere, and appropriate for what is going on. Basically, simply pay attention, and when he does something, let him know how it makes you feel.

Be appreciative when he calls, be happy to see him, be grateful for the plans he makes to take you out, show you a good time, treat you special… These are the ways a woman seduces a man. When you do these things naturally, you will have well developed Feminine Grace (which I introduce in Men Made Easy), and that is what men are drawn to, and never want to lose.

Get my 3 free ebooks to help you determine if he’s a Caveman, a Dog or a Prince here

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

In my hundreds of interviews with men, I’ve come to the conclusion that men love more deeply than women and that it’s a more profound experience for them.

The reason I believe this is because most men are brought up to stuff down their feelings, particularly if they are considered feminine feelings. By the time they’re in middle school, they’ve learned to numb their feelings so well that they don’t even know they’re there any longer.

But love is such a big emotion when it hits them, that they are almost overwhelmed with the immensity of it. It cannot be ignored or denied. And because it’s so huge, they barely know what to do with it. When a man feels true love, the woman they love is a thing to treasure and they are almost in awe of what is happening.

In comparison, love for women is wrapped up in a lot of other emotions, fantasies, wishes fulfilled, joy, excitement, anticipation, futuring, planning, etc. So it gets diluted among all the other things that go along with it. We feel it deeply, but it’s not the huge, earthshaking experience that can hardly be put to words that it is to a man. And often, when men feel it, they DON’T put it to words because they are just in it.

Men don’t want or need to talk about their feelings. Women do. Men don’t need to put it to words because love simply makes them want to act on it by being with the woman they love. One of my twelve Secrets about men is, “Men show love through action.”

If you can understand this very important difference between men and women, you can relax and enjoy his way of experiencing and expressing love, rather than dampening his feelings by insisting that he express it they way you do. You’ll both be happier, love is free to grow and flourish.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

Let’s face it, romance is nice, but what really makes a relationship great is how much fun you have together. If you aren’t having fun, it’s hard to be romantic. Halloween is a great holiday for couples because it’s all about fun.

So what can you do to make this Halloween special? Instead of the typical Romeo and Juliet, how about thinking up something silly to dress up as a couple? How about being a sandwich? You can be the stuff inside and he can be the bread. Use cardboard, foam rubber, or stuffed fabric, depending on your budget, your level of artistic talent, and your time available. Here are some other ideas:

• Go as hot chocolate and marshmallows.
• Or go as smors.
• Maybe you can be the front and the back of whatever character, sharing one costume sewn together.
• What about one of you being a cat and the other a play toy?
• Go as a hula girl and a beach bum in a Hawaiian shirt, but switch the parts so he’s doing the hula in a grass skirt.
• Go as Snow White and have him wear stuffed dolls representing the 7 Dwarfs.

If you aren’t going to a party, go trick-or-treating with all the neighborhood kids. Or go around to the homes of your family and friends. What I’m suggesting is that you think outside of the box and let your creativity go wild. And have fun.

It’s not unusual for guys to not like dressing up. If you want to stay in for the evening maybe you should dress up for him and surprise him with either something wild and crazy or possibly something erotic. Dress up your house with crepe paper strips across the door, light lots of candles, or several carved pumpkins for mood lighting. Then come out doing your best belly dance, pole dance, or strip tease. Just remember to have fun. Then feed him an orange and black dinner.

Go all out, make it memorable, and take lots of pictures for your memory book. You’ll love looking back and laughing all over again.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

A man wrote to me asking for my opinion on something that happened to him. I’m going to tell you about it, but obviously, there’s always two sides to an interaction between two people. I can only go by what he told me, but I do have an opinion about her behavior, even though I don’t know what REALLY happened.

So, here’s what he told me. He met this woman at an art event. They had a very nice conversation, and he felt they were hitting it off. She was dressed in a very flattering outfit. So after they’d gotten to know each other a bit, he told her she had a beautiful hourglass figure. She became offended. He tried to back track, but he felt he was only getting himself in deeper.

She said his comment was inappropriate, that she didn’t appreciate him commenting on her figure, and then slapped him. He was stunned and left the scene as quickly as he could.

He told me he felt awful for offending her so he emailed her and apologized. She gave him a lecture on appropriateness and finished with, “no hard feelings.”

Maybe he was leering without realizing it. I would only know if I witnessed their entire exchange. But, in my opinion, it is NEVER appropriate for anyone to strike anyone else. For one thing, she could have set herself up to be slapped back. He could be arrested for that. Maybe she could as well, but most men won’t press charges. But aside from the violence and legalities, it’s extremely ugly to slap a man. Here are some better ways to handle this kind of situation:

1. She could simply walk away.
2. She could have said, “I don’t appreciate that kind of comment.” Then walked away.
3. She could have been gracious, since it was, up to that point, an enjoyable conversation (according to him), and an art opening, not a random guy walking down the street, and said, “I appreciate what you’re trying to say, but I’m afraid your comment has made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I don’t feel we know each other well enough for you to comment on my figure. I doubt that you meant to offend me, but I’m afraid that you did.” He then gets to apologize on the spot, or show his true colors, verifying that he really is an offensive type of person. In which case, she can then walk away.

I always opt for gracious unless someone is being obnoxious. From what he said, and from her email that he showed me, he wasn’t being obnoxious. But one thing for sure, he won’t be commenting on a woman’s figure any time soon.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

When you want a man who isn’t available or isn’t interested, it’s easy to stay emotionally stuck. Instead of sitting around and feeling bad that you love someone you can’t have, you have to take charge of your life. You are, by the way, in charge of your life. And that means your emotional state of being. It feels like our mind is in charge, but we can do things to change our attitude.

Here are 3 really effective ways to get over a man:

1) Start dating a new man. There’s nothing that works better than getting involved with a new man. It feels good to have a man show interest in us, it switches our focus to the new man, and away from the other one, and we go on dates, getting us out of the house. And who knows, maybe you’ll fall in love and this will be the perfect man for you.

2) Take classes. Have you always wanted to learn salsa dancing? Dancing classes are great because you’ll meet men there. Or maybe you’ve been meaning to get back to painting, or always thought you would like to take singing or acting lessons. The great thing about taking a class is you’ll meet new people, even girlfriends, and start being more active.

3) Offer your time and skills to a charity organization. Giving to others, making a positive difference in other people’s lives, meeting like-minded people…all great ways to stop focusing on ‘him’ and start focusing on help others. Plus, as with the other suggestions, you are getting out, socializing, and meeting new people.

Almost always, when we are stuck thinking about something or someone that makes us feel bad, we’re spending too much time at home, moping around. You have to get busy, get out and be with other people.

Do you think men are Cavemen, Dogs, Princes or all three? Get my 3 free ebooks and find out at KaraOh.com

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

On Good Morning America this morning, they had a story on the growing popularity of prenuptial agreements. They’re no longer just for the rich. I posted this topic on my facebook account this morning and saw that there is some confusion about what a prenuptial agreement is.

Marriage is actually a legal contract. That’s why a divorce has to be done as a legal event. A prenuptial takes the bare bones legal contract of marriage, and creates a contract that is unique to the needs of each couple. If you both brought a home to the union, or if you have children, or if you want to have children and you will stay home with them, with no income, you can create a contract that deals with all these things. The contract can address EVERY issue you can imagine. And, as time goes by, it can be amended to cover new situations that arise throughout your marriage. You can even put in who will be responsible for walking the dog or what are the consequences if one of you ‘falls off the wagon.’

The bottom line is a prenuptial agreement makes you consider the practical side of your lives together, which is always a good idea. In my book, Marriage Makeover and Affair Repair, as well as my upcoming book on pre-marriage planning, I actually take the reader through what should happen prior to ever marriage. That is, to look at the joining of two people in the same way you would the creation of a business. Romance and passion are great but the day-to-day stuff of life are practical, nuts-and-bolts aspects of our lives.

Prenuptial agreements may not be romantic, but they are smart. I think every couple should have one because it makes them look at the practical side of creating a life together.

If you’d like to get 3 free ebooks that show you why men are part Caveman, part Dog, and part Prince, you can do so at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

A man is attracted right away, or he’s not. They are way more visual that we want to admit. Women often tell me they think a man will ‘become’ attracted after he gets to know them. It doesn’t work that way. That’s how women often fall in love. We might be attracted initially, but then he does something or starts to open up, show some vulnerability, and, wham!, we fall in love.

These same women are often enjoying a ‘friendship’ with the man and expect things to ‘grow’ into a romantic relationship.

Men need to have a certain level of physical attraction (that includes excitement) for them to want to develop a relationship. He may be comfortable with you, enjoys being with you, enjoys talking with you, but men don’t want comfortable, at least not until they’re in their sixties and up.

When he’s made it clear that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, believe him! If he doesn’t want to get physical, that’s one of the biggest signs that he isn’t interested in anything more than friendship.

The most important advice I want to offer here is DO NOT put your life on hold, hoping his feelings will change. If you want romance, you need to meet a man who is attracted to you right away. So get yourself out there, meet lots of men, and eventually, the right one will spot you and want to get to know you a whole lot better.

If you’d like to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, you can get three free ebooks right here that will help you begin the journey of understanding men. If you’re REALLY serious about creating an amazing love-filled relationship, you’ll want to get Men Made Easy and start reading immediately!

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.