A common complaint of women is that their boyfriend or husband is too busy with his work to give them the time and attention they want.

As I explain in one of the Secrets about men in Men Made Easy, a man’s work is how he defines himself ‘as a man.’ You need to understand this Secret because if you complain, what it feels like to him is you’re trying to rip apart his identity, basically, trying to emasculate him. Yes, he’s driven to be successful, BUT, and this is key, when you’re happy, he feels successful, so much so that if you’re unhappy, he feels like a failure.

First, you need to not take it personally. When he was working to win your heart, that was like a job to him. Once that goal was achieved, he went back to focusing on his work. That’s when you saw how he relates to his work. Some men can leave their work behind at the end of the day. Some can’t. You knew what you were getting involved with. So it’s not fair to complain and it makes you VERY unattractive.

When he does give you time and attention, appreciate the heck out of him by telling him how happy it makes you, how good it makes you feel, etc. But not all in one gush. Spread them out. When you do nice things for him, tell him, “I’m doing this as a thank you for…, because it meant so much to me.” Hopefully he’s sensitive enough to notice what he’s been doing that makes you happy and that you are showing him how much you appreciate his attention in some pretty special ways.

The primary directive for a great relationship is to approach every situation with the idea of “how can you make this a win/win situation.” It’s not always easy, but ALWAYS worth the effort.

If you’re tired of being confused by men, and need dating or relationship advice, here’s 3 FREE ebooks that will help you begin to understand men better. Sign up to receive them here.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

If you want to stay in love, stop focusing on what’s not working and begin to focus on what is working. This seems pretty darned obvious but think about it for a minute. How often to you think about what’s not working and completely ignore what is working? Part of the reason we do this is human nature. It’s kind of like a paper cut. When we get one, we pay more attention to it than what’s going on around us.

How does it get to that point in a relationship when we started out so in love? One reason is we aren’t usually aware of the little things he does when we’re falling in love with him. We’re too immersed in how good it feels. If you’re in a brand new relationship, I recommend you keep a journal of what he does that makes you feel good. Why are you falling in love with him? What are his characteristics? What are the juicy things that make him who he is? If you do this, and remind yourself often, this will become the image of who he is. And because it’s attached to how good me makes you feel, he’ll take on that aura and in your mind, that’s who you’ll seen and feel whenever you think about him or when you’re with him.

Because women tend to have a lot of expectations and demands, it’s easy to notice what things are missing. But if you actually are in love, and care enough to want to create a life with him, there must be–or at least I certainly hope so–a pretty impressive list of great things. But somewhere along the way–probably when the over-the-top crazy-in-love feelings settle down you you became a real couple–you started to notice his little imperfections. From there, you begin to focus on those, and make them more important than they are, that is, if he’s still doing the nice things he did in the beginning. If he’s no longer making you feel great, then it could be he’s simply not the right man for you.

This is where your intuition and inner wisdom must be brought to the forefront. Are you being picky, or is he really not what you want? If he’s a good man, and someone you really do want to create a long-term relationship with, then see what happens if you focus on all the reasons you fell in love with him and all the things he’s still doing to show you he cares.

Oh, you didn’t make that list when you two were first falling in love? No problem. Just do a Relaxation Meditation so you can go back to the beginning, feel all those wonderful feelings, and make your list now. Then, read through your list AT LEAST once a week. And put it somewhere you’ll glance at it, as a reminder, at least once a day. Do this for two months and you’ll feel different. If you don’t, then you really do need to look at whether or not you should be with this man.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

Women frequently ask me what they can do to keep their long distance relationship strong. A problem for most men is they need to be in the presence of their woman more frequently than women do. That’s because women are so good at using their imagination to fantasize about their guy. But men don’t do that. They need to see and touch you.

But there are some things you can do if you’ve got a real relationship, meaning you do spend time together occasionally. If you’ve never met, that isn’t a relationship, not yet. It’s just the getting to know each other stage.

In Men Made Easy I talk about the power of complimenting a man. That’s good once in a while, but because men want to be with a woman who encourages him to enjoy being a man, you should focus on appreciating him. You see, the reason he fell in love with you is because you make him feel good. Appreciation offers a nice dose of those good feelings.

So here three things you can do to perk up his interest:

1. When he calls, let him know how much you appreciate it and how loved he makes you feel.
2. Let him know how much you appreciate that he’s doing this training and how taken care of he makes you feel.
3. Then, if it feels right, why not flirt with him? Tell him you wish he was there because you’ve been thinking about the last time you made love and you’re hungry for him. That kind of thing. If he responds, don’t be afraid to have phone sex. This will make him miss you more than ever.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

When it feels like your heart is going to break because your relationship is over, or you feel lonely and afraid you will never find love or happiness, here’s some advice that will help you develop the ‘habit of being happy.’ To do so will be better for you, but another benefit is that you will be more attractive to every man you meet when you’re happy.

I think one of the things that has helped me develop the habit of being happy the most is to develop rapport with trust. As I’ve learned to trust that “everything that is happening is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening,” and trust “everything will unfold in it’s own time, in own way,” and that “it’s all perfect,” I’ve gotten better and better at not letting the disappointments get me down.

This is counter to how most people live. What I’ve observed from coaching people over the years is that, more often than not, most people focus on what they don’t have, or wanting things to happen “NOW,” or trying to force things to happen and when they fail to do so, they stress about it.

In a way, what you think about most of the time is actually felt at a cellular level, whether it’s happiness, sadness, negativity, or anger. What I mean is, your entire body is triggered by your thoughts. It’s your thoughts that make you feel bad and keep you stuck in the negative thinking loop. And if you stay in a particular frame of mind, your body begins to take on the ‘feelings’ associated with that thinking. Thus, it becomes your natural state of being.

So you must change your body at that same cellular level. To do that, do a twenty minute meditation every day, preferably twice a day, and focus on the mantra below. But you have to feel it in your body for it to create the changes I’m talking about. It will take some time, but it does work if you are willing to do it. If you think you don’t have the time, then think about how much time you waste thinking about the things that upset you and make you sad. And, if you aren’t willing to do this, it means one of two things: 1) you don’t really want to change, 2) you don’t love yourself enough to know you deserve to be happy.

Here is the mantra for you to think about as you meditate:

• I trust everything that is happening is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening.
• I trust everything will unfold in it’s own time, in own way.
• I trust that it’s all perfect.

Here’s the MP3 meditation that you can download into your MP3 player:

http:FeminineGrace.com/meditation.html

Use the one where I guide you, then, once you get comfortable relaxing in this way, you can use just the music.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

As a Dating Mentor, I find that way too many women make this huge mistake when they try online dating. The danger is heartache.

Online dating is great, but you’ve got to be smart. When a woman  asks if she should try online dating, I always ask if she has a good connection to her intuition. Not only must you be able to HEAR your intuition, you also need to HEED it. If not, don’t go near online dating. If you want to find out about my Mentoring, you can learn about what I do here.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

Are you still wishing you could get back with him? Women write to me–especially after reading Men Made Easy and seeing all the things they did that pushed him away–wanting to know how they can win him back. I do understand their desire to “have another chance” to prove they’re different, but if you don’t have contact, there’s nothing you can do to show him you’ve learned the mistakes you made.

If you can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop wishing you could have that second chance, and can’t stop thinking about ‘what could have been,’ you need to take charge of those thoughts. Otherwise, your thoughts are controlling you. To do that, you have to find something to replace those thoughts with. To do that, make a list of all the things that you wanted, but he didn’t give you. Now, make a list of what you DO want when the next, better man shows up. Then, when those thoughts jump in take over, notice it, then replace those old thoughts with the thoughts of how great it will be when you meet the man who will give you want. At the very least, you should be with a man who is thrilled to have you in his life.

When a man cuts all contact with you, it’s more important that you admit it’s over, and begin to take care of yourself. I would recommend you do some kind of ritual. Maybe write what you gained from being with him, what you learned, and what you want that he couldn’t give you. Then say a kind of prayer asking your spirit to be set free of this man so you can find someone who is excited to be with you. You can burn it or cut it into tiny pieces and let the wind take it…whatever feels right. It’s time to move on.

If you want to discover the mistakes that push a man away, get your copy of Men Made Easy right now and learn the Secrets to a man’s heart.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

If you want to learn one of the biggest turn-ons for most men, you’ll definitely want to watch this video.

One of the most important things you’ll learn in Men Made Easy is how to develop your Feminine Grace, which automatically helps you love yourself and your body more and more each day. You can become his dream-come-true when you glow with Feminine Grace.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

When we think intimacy, we often assume that means physical intimacy. But most women thrive on the kind of intimacy that occurs when a man shares his feelings with us. Women do this with each other and that’s a primary reason why we treasure our women friends. Sharing from the heart, especially with our man, is like a trip to heaven.

So how does a woman get a man to open up and share his feelings? Not easy when most men don’t open up about much of anything personal, yet alone their feelings.

First, you have to realize that men are taught, from a very early age, to pretty much ignore what they’re feeling. When they’re little boys, they’re taught to “stop crying,” “don’t be a baby,” “pick yourself up and get back out there,” “don’t be a sissy.” And even if he had enlightened parents, when he gets old enough to hang out with other boys, they teach each other. I saw a video of a boy, maybe ten years old, who said he never lets himself cry around the other boys, even when he gets hurt really bad. And I watched my grandson, whose mother IS enlightened, hold back tears when he couldn’t get on the rides at the fair because he was still too short. He didn’t want his older, taller friend to see him cry. Broke my heart.

Here’s a Method That Will Get Him To Share His Feelings With You

Because most men are uncomfortable with sharing their feelings, you have to start slow. He’s going to be guarded at first, but if you keep letting him see that you’re safe to open up to, he’ll eventually open up. But don’t ever expect him to share like your girlfriends do. But even a little bit of sharing will make him feel closer to you and your bond will grow ever stronger.

Find a time when he’s not doing anything like reading the paper, searching the internet, or watching TV. Sit with him for a bit, just relaxing with him. Then ask him a not too probing question. Nothing about your relationship or how he feels about you. That’s way too scary for him because he’ll assume you have an expectation of what you want him to say, and he’s pretty sure he’ll get it wrong.

The kind of questions you ask will elicit him to talk about his feelings, but not be scary. Here are a list of questions you can ask. Download PDF here

When you ask these questions, be sure and allow him to have as many of what I call, his “moments of silence.” This is when he’s gathering his thoughts. Men tell me all the time that women don’t listen. That’s because women jump in whenever there’s an opening. His moments of silence are required for him to feel comfortable. Men don’t just talk to be talking. They want to make sense so they choose their words carefully. Remember, your goal is to get him to open up, not you. You do that all the time and easily.

Also, don’t ever repeat what he shares with anyone. Men know women blab and they hate it. He may share things that are uncomfortable for him. If he finds out you’ve told someone else, he may never open up to you again. Then, intimacy will not grow but instead, shrink. When that happens, love begins to die.

If you want him to fall in love with you all over again, or you want him to realize you’re the woman he wants in his life forever, you must know the Secrets about men that I reveal in Men Made Easy. Get started now.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

A new male friend on facebook wrote and asked what makes men easy. Here’s what I told him:

I studied men for a couple of years and I came up with 12 Secrets about men. The first and the last are what makes a man easy…as in easy to be in a relationship with. The secrets in the middle are how to do the first and last secrets well.

In the first Secret I teach women to be beautiful in how they are, rather than ugly, which a lot of women are. By ugly I mean, whining, complaining, emasculating, out-of-control emotions, blaming, trying to change him, etc. By beautiful is be kind, gracious, happy, playful, appreciative and able to communicate needs in such a way that it is win/win for both sides.

The last Secret is, “A man wants to be with a woman who encourages him to enjoy being a man.” She can do that by accepting him as he is, understanding why he is the way he is, both as a man and individually, by letting him know he makes her happy, encouraging him to spend time with his guy friends, not mothering him, not nagging, respecting him, being an enthusiastic lover, etc.

The hard part for women is taking control of themselves and choosing to be beautiful. Seems pretty crazy that they so often are ugly, but they mostly don’t know any better. They tend to blame whatever is not right on the man, when they have a whole lot more control than they realize, including not getting involved with a man because he has “potential.”

My goal is to help women be smarter about how they interact with men. Why? So they can be happier and enjoy how great it feels to be cherished by a man who adores her.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.

A woman wrote to me asking me how she could get a man to fall in love with her. This is a man she barely knows. This kind of thinking really scares me.  It’s fine to meet a man and be attracted and intrigued, but to move from “Nice to meet you,” immediately to “Choose me, love me, marry me,” is a recipe for disaster. Almost everyone we meet doesn’t work out, no matter how strong the attraction is.

When you barely know a man, it’s important to keep your rational mind in gear. And don’t forget to use the brakes. If this is something you tend to do I recommend you take a look at how unhealthy this thinking is. Step back and look at the bigger picture. HE IS A STRANGER. How can you want a total stranger to fall in love with you or want to marry you? It should take months of getting acquainted to get to that point. Yes, there are those rare couples who met and immediately knew and stay happily married forever. But it’s rare.

Unfortunately, romance novels and romantic movies perpetuate this idea that love is instant and everything can be put together with a great big bow tied on it in 90 minutes. That’s not how life works.

Making mental plans for the future with a total stranger is the kind of thinking that gets women in trouble. You get emotionally invested WAY too soon and then when it doesn’t work out, which most beginnings don’t, you have to go through the heartbreak…over a stranger. You need to be careful of your heart. It’s a precious thing to give your heart to another. Don’t hand it over so easily. Be cautious, careful and thoughtful. And you’re less likely to chase a man off because you become needy and clingy. No one can protect your heart except you.

So now that you have stepped back, with the intention of taking it slow, one step at a time instead of jumping off the cliff, unaware if there are rocks beneath the surface, here are some tips on how to get a man to fall for you. To begin with, if you follow the Secrets in Men Made Easy you will be different than any woman he’s ever met. Here’s why.

Men Made Easy will teach you why men fall for you because you’ve learned that the following behavior will cause a man to be excited to know you better, win his heart, and cause him to fall in love with you:. You need to develop your Feminine Grace, which includes the following:

1. Be beautiful in how you are.
2. Be happy, cheerful and positive.
3. Don’t complain about anything that happened in your past or what is going on currently. Complaining, about anything, is always ‘ugly.’
4. Don’t lose control of your emotions.
5. Remind him regularly what you appreciate about him.
6. Let him take care of you, to be your hero. Always thank him and let him know how happy he makes you for how he takes care of you.
7. Don’t have sex until you have a conversation where you BOTH agree to be exclusing, not dating or having sex with anyone else. If you do, you’ll probably destroy his interest, plus, you will feel bad for having sex with a stranger who doesn’t want to see you again.
8. Don’t try to figure out if he’s going to hurt you some day. Just get to know him, who he is, how he looks at life, how fun he is, how considerate and respectful, etc. Basically, don’t “interview” him for the job of your boyfriend.
9. Remember that he wants to be with a woman who makes him feel good and who is enjoyable to be with.

You may think this is a lot of work on your part. But look at each item on that list and notice how it will make you feel to behave that way. Everything I teach is about how you can be happier…with you, your life and with a man. The goal in understanding men is so you can know what will cause him to fall in love with you, to cherish you and never want to risk losing you. But you have to do your part to make that a reality. You lead and he will follow. Demanding any of that will only chase him away. You’ll learn how to create an amazing relationship when you embrace your Feminine Grace and use the Secrets about men to create the love you crave.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

P.S. The Secrets about men in Men Made Easy will help you learn how to get a man to fall in love, whether you’re dating, or trying to save your marriage.