Every morning I’m greeted with an inbox filled with emails trying to entice me to want to  enlarge my you-know-what. Well, being a woman, I don’t have a you-know-what; so I sure wish I could get off of that list. After reading the subject lines this morning, most of which I can’t share in mixed company, I got to thinking: What if that same level of energy, time, and effort was used to inspire men (and women) to want to become great lovers? Rather than “ride her hard”, what if it said, “Make her feel more loved than ever before in her life.” Naaah… you’re right… that wouldn’t sell.

If these emails are any indication of how removed from what lovemaking is all about, we’re living in a very sad, lonely time. Sure, size matters, but only a little, and only as a bonus. No matter how large a man is, if he doesn’t have any style, doesn’t know the value of taking his time, doesn’t notice what makes his partner’s toes curl, isn’t aware of what puts a purr in her voice, then he’s a lousy lover… no matter his size or endurance level. And the same goes for women.

Are there any men left who would admit that being a great lover means just that, being a great lover? Making “love”… see those two words… making love. I’m the Heart Specialist™ and the message I want to get across to everyone who will listen is this: If you want to have a better relationship than you’ve ever experienced before, you’ve got to learn to create a heart-to-heart connection as your natural way of being. It’s simple to do once you know the steps required to make that happen, just as learning any new skill. Focusing on size is so removed from what really matters that is makes me sad that there are a lot of people who are finishing their so-called intimate time completely unfulfilled. (Oops, I just got another email: Longer, harder… Sheesh.)

What do you think it would be like to make love and when you’re both laying there, spent, you hold each other, needing to squeeze each other so hard you’re afraid you’ll break, amazed at how overflowing with love you both feel? That’s what can happen when you learn to shift your focus, your attitude, and your thinking.

The “greening” of love is a worthy endeavor because when you learn how to do that, you’ll tranform every relationship and every aspect of your life. Switch to a heart-centered perspective, rather than a “me” perspective, and I guarantee you’ll experience life in a way that will be so satisfying you’ll wonder if you’re the same person. Trust me, after living 40 years as an insecure (read self-centered) person, life is sooooo much better now that I’ve learned to become a good (and according to my fiance’) a great lover, and we’re not just talking about what goes on in the bedroom. Learn to “green” your relationships, meaning, wrap your arms around other people (just like you’re being asked to wrap your arms around our precious Earth) and your heart will begin to overflow with love. What a bigger life you’d be living. And we’re not talking about your you-know-what.

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh

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