After studying men for 2 years as research for my book, Men Made Easy, and now, after many years as a relationship and dating expert, coach, workshop leader, and public speaker on men, I can offer this quick sketch of what you need to know about men:

1) Men need to feel successful, so-much-so that, to a man, failure is almost unbearable. For them, if they fail, they no longer feel like men. It’s why most men commit suicide, which they do more often than women.

2) Men are most attracted to happy women who genuinely like themselves and who enjoy being women. When you’re happy, he feels successful. When you’re a bottomless pit who never seems pleased by anything he does, he finally gets worn out and leaves.

3) Men hate it when a woman tries to change them. What it tells them is that they’re not okay the way they are. That makes them feel attacked, which makes them put up defenses against those attacks…against you. A defended man cannot love a woman the way she wants. You can help him dismantle those defenses and once again open his heart to loving you…like in the beginning of your relationship when he thought you were the most wonderful woman on the planet.

4) Since they were boys, men have been taught not to feel. “Pick yourself up, don’t cry, be a man.” Those messages were taken to heart and as men, the only person they feel at all comfortable being intimate with, sharing at least a little of what’s going on inside of them, is their wife. He’ll begin to share things he may have never told you before, no matter how long you’ve been married. You really are his only source of intimacy.

5) When you get engaged it’s the beginning of a fantasy-come-true. But he didn’t pretend wedding when he was a boy, he doesn’t buy “Groom” magazine and plan his wedding. For him, it’s very much a financial decision and a willingness to take on some very big responsibilities. When you understand what he’s going through, he’ll see how unique and special you really are. He won’t want to risk losing you. Check out Men Made Easy here.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™