Professor Richard Wiseman, PhD, author of Quirkology says the pick-up line that works 100% of the time is, “If you were going to be a pizza topping, what topping would you be?”

What makes a pick-up line work? Any question that gets someone to relax, open up and talk about themselves. This question is not at all intimidating and certain to illicit a fun conversation.

The line I have recommended over the years is, “If you had superpowers, how would you use them?” This question is fun and it tells you something about a person’s values. If they want to gain power for themselves or if they want to do good tells you what they care about, at least at that particular time in their life. No broad judgments should be made because of their answer, however. If they’re focused on their career and getting ahead they may want to use their power to advance their success.

You can follow up with a question about how caring they are such as, “Is there a way you would use your powers to help others?” Then see how they answer. When you’re looking for that special person the list of what you’re looking for should include kindness. You definitely want someone who is kind and thoughtful.

Make up a few of these kinds of questions so you’re equipped when you want to create a fun conversation.

In any conversation, the most important aspect of being a good conversationalist is BE A GREAT LISTENER. That means don’t interrupt, keep asking questions about what they just shared, be genuinely interested and say, “Tell me more.”

Most people don’t get the pleasure of really being listened to so you’ll stand out as an amazing woman when you really listen to someone. But when you’re getting to know a new man pay attention to whether he asks you questions. If he doesn’t, that’s a sign that he might be self-centered or maybe nervous because he’s attracted to you. If he hasn’t asked you any questions you should offer your answer to the same question. If he doesn’t listen that’s a sign he’s either not that interested in you or he’s just rude. Either way,  your response should be, “Next!”

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh
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