This may seem like a crazy question but you’d be surprised how many women I coach on their dating who literally are allowing their ex boyfriends or husbands to control their love lives.

What I’ve noticed is they let past relationships color their future attempts at love. I know one woman who had a very controlling husband so now, she always picks men who are wimpy. Yes, she’s not being controlled by these new men, but because she selects men she doesn’t really respect, her controlling ex is keeping her from choosing a man who can step up and “be a man.”

I worked with a woman recently who was cheated on by her ex. Now, she’s with a good man who is doing everything he can to prove to her that he’s faithful to her, but because she is not able to trust this man, she will surely chase him away. Her ex is controlling her ability to enjoy a relationship build on trust and respect, both of which are essential to a healthy relationship.

So I invite you to notice if you are running away from or toward something that isn’t in your best interest because of something an ex did to you in the past. Take charge of your future by becoming aware of what is causing you to make the choices and decisions you do. Get your ex out of the picture.