A woman wrote and asked how she can repair her relationship. She was depressed and angry for a period of time and her boyfriend pulled away and quit putting any effort into the relationship.

I thought my response might be helpful for women in the same situation:

From what I’ve learned about men, they really don’t do well with a woman being too emotional, whether it’s depression or screaming and ranting. They feel responsible and if there’s anger, they feel emasculated and repelled by ugly behavior. Depending on how it manifests, how long it goes on, how bad the attacks are, they can completely pull away and lose their desire to come back together. The best thing to do is to admit you were ugly, let him know you understand exactly why he would pull away, that you are much more aware of your behavior and more in control now. Apologize and ask him for suggestions for how to fix things. Asking a man for suggestions on how to solve a problem is giving them an opportunity to be your hero. When we just complain, they pull further and further away.

See how he responds to your request for him to solve this problem and see if he wants to be your hero. If he doesn’t, it usually means their feelings have cooled. When a man really loves a woman, he will want to do everything he can to make his woman happy. It’s when his efforts go into a bottomless pit that they get worn out.

From my heart to yours,