Here’s a question I got from a woman and I thought it might be helpful to share my response here:

Hello Kara,
I really like you alot and have learned alot from you. I have a question for you. I’m engaged to someone I actually don’t love, we have nothing in common, and I feel cold towards him. Meanwhile..i feel something for another.

Do you think marrying someone I don’t love only because getting I’m older and to satisfy my family and friends is the right thing to do?
Plz help me with this…
Julia

And my response:

My dearest Julia,
Life is too short to be in a marriage you do not want. This is NOT about the new man. This is about you and your future happiness. Marrying for your family is a horrible thing to do. They will not be living your daily life, you will.

You should not get involved with anyone before ending your engagement. That is the first priority. It would dishonor you, the man you are engaged to and the new man. No good can come out of it. If the new man gets involved with you, then you are both cheaters. Not a good way to start any relationship.

Here’s another thing to think about: if you marry a man who you do not love and adore, what a horrible thing to do to him. He will then miss out on a marriage with an adoring wife.

If you aren’t able to be happy without a man in your life, then you are not going to be able to create a healthy, satisfying relationship. You  must first learn to love yourself so deeply that you are content within yourself, even if you never meet a man. Then, when you do, he will be a lovely addition to your already great life.

I hope you don’t mind my complete honesty but you did ask for my opinion.

Focus on what you need in order to be completely happy within herself. Then, you will be able to make smart choices from your heart, not from what you or others think you “should” do, but from what you want know, deep in your heart, you desire.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

The “Go-To” Place for Personal Growth: WomenSharingSolutions.com