When you’re considering leaving your partner, remember that everyone has imperfections. You may want to reconsider whether you can live with your partner’s because the next person is going to have a new set of imperfections that you’re going to have to learn to accept and negotiate around. No one can, or should be, all things to us. It’s a good idea to not sweat the small stuff, because, you know what, mostly, it’s all small stuff.

If you feel you really do need to move on, then dump with style. Be kind, considerate and try to imagine what it would feel like if they dumped you. Don’t forget that they will probably tell others about being dumped and how you went about doing it, so do it in a way that will not make you look like a heartless person. And if possible, keep it friendly enough that if you feel the urge, you can send a card on their birthday.

The best words to use are something along these lines: “There are many things I like and admire about you. We’ve enjoyed great times together but I’m feeling like we just don’t have all that I’m looking for. I may regret this one day, but I think it’s best if we part so we can both find what our hearts seek.” That may be too mushy but something along those lines, where you compliment them first, acknowledge the good stuff, and let them know that it’s just not working for what you want.

Ideally, it’s nice when you can end a relationship on a loving, respectful note. Then you both can keep your dignity.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

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